I get a general feeling often in the blogging world that women feel that they have to do everything and then some. Have you ever seen that 70’s commercial (okay, I am dating myself here) about the woman who can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan? The commercial alluded to the fact that women can do everything and do it well (at the same time). Now, before you might jump to conclusions, I am not trying to say that women cannot live fulfilling and meaningful lives. What I do feel though is that many women burn the candle at both ends and end up burnt out in the end by trying to keep all their plates spinning at once.

In my 20’s, I lived an active life, going here and there and giving time to others. In my early 30’s, I got hit with a brick – something called chronic illness. I would not even begin to know back then just how difficult things would become. Now, here I am in my later 40’s, not so very far away from 50, and life has been very challenging. There are days that I feel much older than my real age and there are many days that I cannot even begin to do all that I would like to accomplish. I am still learning how to be content when life doesn’t give or allow what I really want, especially the things that are more valuable than just “stuff”.

So in writing the last part of my series, I’m going to share a little heartfelt advice about taking care of ourselves. May I please say that as women we do not, and I repeat “do not” have to be martyrs for our spouse, children, other family members or friends. Of course we all have certain obligations if we choose the role of being a wife or mother, etc. Whatever role we have chosen we should be content with that. However, I don’t understand some of the thinking I’ve read that states that a woman cannot have time for her self or time to have some interests. Let’s face it, no one will appreciate a grouchy woman who lives as if she is a sacrificial lamb for her family, and is sure to remind them of it. Haven’t we all done this from time to time? I know I have and it’s something I am sorry for. We can’t take those things back, but we can learn from them and move forward.

It is not selfish to have a few hours or even more for yourself each week. It is not self-serving to want to have time to think clearly or to desire to feel rested and well. Sure, if a woman is out often during the week for fun and not home to help her family something is clearly wrong. But how is it wrong to feel whole as a person so you can give more to others?

Here are some practical ways to care for the person that you see in the mirror…you.

Invest In Yourself

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1) Take a nap! Forget about the to-do list once in a while – it’s okay! Sometimes just taking a 15-minute or even half-hour nap can rejuvenate you and help you to get going again with renewed energy. Don’t think of it as being selfish, rather you are filling up your gas tank. How far does a car without gasoline go? (Tip for moms with young children – yes, you really do need to take that nap sometimes when the children are resting.)

2) Make ourselves a priority. Make ourselves a priority. This does not have to be elaborate. Put yourself down in your planner and make the time to renew your own spirit, whenever you need it. It doesn’t matter if you are a mother of 12, a widow, a single mom of 3, a homemaker without children, a single, or a college student. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, needs a break from the to-do list now and then. As women we ALL work hard. There are pros and cons to every season of life, but if we don’t take care of ourselves, we are just wearing ourselves down and eventually will have nothing left to give.

3) Treat yourself with little things. Treat yourself with little things. I personally can think of a few good things I love. I enjoy pretty-smelling soap. When I take my shower or bath I am really enjoying the fact that it will make me smell wonderful. It’s a small price for something you know will make you feel good.

Have some treats on hand that make you happy. I love popcorn, so I treat myself once in a while with Orville Redenbacher (bought with coupons of course). Another favorite is chocolate. Sometimes just a little piece or two of my favorite non-dairy chocolate hits the spot just right.

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Instead of going to Starbucks or other coffee places, find coupons for special brands you enjoy. As an example, just this week I bought a box of Celestial Seasonings variety tea for .99 (after coupon). I can get 20 servings of tea for far less than a cup of hot tea or coffee at Starbucks. Also, a really good brand of hot chocolate is Ghirardelli. I bought several canisters (on discount of course). Sheer chocolate joy in a canister! Add some marshmallows and you are good to go. With the weather getting nicer little by little how about taking a thermos of your favorite hot beverage instead to your local park or beach and just enjoy the scenery. I don’t always find coffee shops to be so quiet these days and this is a nice alternative. If you can’t go anywhere, find a place outside (remember we talked about making our yard a personal retreat?).

4) Inexpensive hobby fun. I love books and I love to add to my collection when it’s a good frugal price. I’ve acquired some free or almost-free magazine subscriptions lately. They are a good frugal choice to me because I will refer to them again and again. Whatever hobbies you do enjoy, think of ways to use what you already have on hand and if you do have to spend money, do it as inexpensively as you can. (I find it quite enjoyable to make something out of what I already have instead of having to buy more.)

Even something like a trip to your favorite dollar store can make you smile. This week I was able to find a few needs and wants, and for the total price I paid I got a lot for my money. I bought gardening gloves, several herb-growing kits, pretty tissue paper and some seeds, to name a few – all things that I will use and enjoy. Maybe something you love to do is going window-shopping or visiting thrift stores or antique stores. Just go with a plan in mind and keep within your budget, and don’t do it so often. It will be more special to you this way.

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5) Have a mini-spa retreat. Carve out a few hours for yourself to do all those things that make you feel better – a hot bath or shower, shave your legs, do your brows and nails, moisturize your body, a facial mask, etc. You don’t have to pay a bundle to have these things done by someone else.

6) Take a spiritual day renewal. Yes, it’s possible to take a complete day off from your responsibilities, really! Again, please do not feel guilty to take time to do something that will only benefit you and your life. Is there a beautiful scenic view close by that you can go to for some quiet time alone? You can take some books, your bible and a journal with you. Don’t forget physical nourishment too. We all need those times to just “be still”.

In ending, it’s important to take time to invest in your home, your loved ones and yourself. The key to what I share is to spend moderately and purposefully. It does not take a lot of money at all to invest in these areas of our lives. You can make your dollars really count by living frugally. Even if you are not currently struggling, by cutting back you can have more financial security. If you are struggling or are living paycheck-to-paycheck, being aware of what you do and don’t spend can often make a real difference. For myself, being a good money manager allows me to remain home with health issues while living on a smaller budget. The efforts I put into living frugally reward me far and above what I can begin to even share here. Living a frugal life blesses me and I am grateful for it.

Lyn is a homemaker who strives for a frugal and simple life. She’s a student of life who learns everyday and will continue to do so. She’s also thankful that she can write this while looking out her window, admiring the trees and listening to the rain.

From Manuela: Go here if you missed Lyn’s first guest post.

This time we are going to look at something even more important than investing in our homes. Yes, it’s important that our homes are a place of sanctuary as much as they possibly can be. However, it’s the people living there that truly make up the home. Without our loved ones, a home is just a dwelling. Families come in all sizes and types. A family is what you make of it. It can be you, your spouse and your children, but it can also be just you and your spouse. Of course there are other wonderful types of families too – single parents with children, widows and widowers, singles – alone or with friends. We cannot forget the furry family members either. It’s up to you to make the most of what type of family you do have. You can make your life special wherever you are at in life.

Here are a few more ideas on how we can invest in what matters in our lives, especially during challenging times.

Invest In Your Family

1) Food soothes the soul. What types of dishes does your family really enjoy to eat? You can put a little something away from your grocery budget specifically for these foods to make a special meal now and then. For example, my husband loves seafood but it’s not a regular item in my budget. Now and then when I see a good price I’ll pick some up for him because I know he really will enjoy it.

Many frugal foods are actually comfort foods – think soups, stews, roasted chicken with mashed potatoes, homemade pizza, homemade cookies and cake, etc. I recently made a lovely rice pudding simply by using leftover cooked brown and white rice. It was inexpensive and delicious. Take some time to go through cookbooks you already own for some fresh ideas or get some classics at the library (Better Homes and Garden, Betty Crocker, The Joy of Cooking). Taste of Home by Reiman Publications always has great ideas of down-home cooking. You can visit them here, and you can also search for recipes there.

2) Stick with basic ingredients and add just a few specialty items. I have a basic grocery list, but once in a while I like to get a few items that make meals taste even more special to me: sun-dried tomatoes, black and green olives, capers, a little bit of goat cheese, olive oil, spices. Buying these at discounted prices allows me to enjoy them a little more freely.

3) Cook with ethnic ingredients. Lately I’ve been on a quest to learn how to make more Spanish and Mexican meals. I went shopping at a Spanish market that had great items for less than I would find them in the regular grocery stores. I had my first try at making homemade corn tortillas – it was a lot of fun and my dh enjoyed my frugal efforts. Good food does not have to be expensive. Ethnic food is not only delicious, but can be very cost-effective. Think Italian, Chinese, Thai, Spanish, Mexican, African, Greek, – the sky is the limit here and all you need is a little imagination and some recipes to try!

4) Buy or make little treats that everyone enjoys. What are some snack foods that make your loved ones smile? Manuela mentioned that her husband enjoys certain nuts. My husband does also. Do your children love homemade baked cookies? Keep a cookie jar filled with little treats that will brighten their day. It will be something they look forward to coming home to have. Things like iced tea, homemade lemonade and hot chocolate are all things that are frugal but delicious too. These may seem like little things, but everyone loves to be thought of and cared for. Again, I do think the little things make a difference in life, don’t you?

5) Pampering and loving our family. Cozy sheets and warm blankets or quilts always make you feel good. Who doesn’t love a few cushy pillows to lay their head down on? Do you have some family games you can bring out, movies at home to watch together, books to read? Make some popcorn or a special appetizer for everyone to share. Slowing down to take the time to do these things really helps everyone’s spirit during difficult times.

My husband is not fussy or expecting in any way. Once in a while I’ll make him a nice bath and warm up his towel in the dryer for him. These small things cost nothing but my time and say “I love you”. Sometimes we don’t take the time to do these little things. I figure if I love the little things, then wouldn’t my husband love them too?

6) Have set dinners and family nights together. Make sure you are spending good quality time with each other. Dinners together should be a priority whenever possible. How about a special theme for the dinner or evening once in a while? It doesn’t take money, but it does take time. Time is the best thing you can give to your loved ones and you won’t regret that type of investment. Forget about the stuff (kids only need so much anyway) and let the children put down those video games once in a while. It’s important to connect.

7) Have a “staycation” or low-key vacation this year. With the nicer months approaching, instead of an expensive vacation away this year, how about having a staycation? You know, that new word that was created with the new economy? My dh and I have had staycations for years now. With a little planning you can have a wonderful time together exploring places where you live that perhaps you’ve never seen. You can plan some days at the park or the beach, or how about some trips to the local discount movie theater? Have a picnic in your living room, or even in your backyard. What matters is that you are together and enjoy the company. We don’t have to run around frenetically on vacation. It can be simple and easy-going, with minimal stress.

8) Pleasing our family can really be simple. Sometimes we think it takes a lot to please our family. Take a moment to ask them what they like and you might be surprised. These are small things that we can do for our family that will make being at home an enjoyable place to be. Once you know what is important to your family, you don’t have to drive yourself crazy doing everything – just focus on what is important.

For our next and final post, we’ll talk about how to “Invest In Ourselves”. You didn’t think I would leave you out, did you now? Enjoy your blessings of home, family, and friends. Till next time…

Lyn is a homemaker who strives for a frugal and simple life. She’s a student of life who learns everyday and will continue to do so. She’s also thankful that she can write this while looking out her window, admiring the trees and listening to the rain.